Crying while Failing

enough

2005-01-25T22:31:14Z

enough sad shit

Another boring day of school...no delay

2005-01-25T22:17:49Z

Well, school was okay today...Better then yesterday at least.
Now I know why Ms.Kordich is caled Korbitch, we have a 15 page packet, due tomorrow, we had class time Friday, Monday, and Today, but I was absent on Friday. Packet is due tomorrow, beginning of class.

I also have English homework, answering questions, on The Sniper, the short story we read in class today. World Cultures was fun, we had a work sheet, and then we had another one we will do in class with out our books. By The Way, does anyone know the 5 Oceans? I got; Artic, Atlantic, Pacific, and Indian..I dont remember the 5th one.

You know, I shouldn't even be on my LiveJournal? I have so much homework...

Eighth Level Of Hell

2005-01-25T01:39:50Z

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

School...BLAH!

2005-01-24T21:00:21Z

Well....today we DID have school, it pissed me off even more, not even a delay! Pottsgrove had a delay, and they got less snow then us.
Now it is snowing...AGAIN, and it will snow on WEDENSDAY!

I am so sick of all of this snow. It is annyoing.

I had my new classes today.

I have Science with; April, and Mike.
I have English 1 with; Ashley
I have World Cultures with; Moses, Ashley, and Amanda.
I know I have Gym with; April and Megan
and (of course) I have ROTC with; Andrew, April, Shiloh, and Loren.

My Weekend

2005-01-24T20:56:55Z

Yea...I had a sleepover last night, Meredith & Malcolm spent the night. Us 3 and Tim had a snow war and then when we came inside my mom said that if it was okay with their parents the boys could spend the night.

We watched movies, played TorD, and tried using my ouija board, but the boys kept screwing around

The snow storm is gone :\ and I just know we will have school, our district likes to make us suffer. honestly they do, its stupid, we should be getting off like every normal district.

Pictures From The Sleepover:

Meredith on Funnyjunk.com

Weird pictures of Malcolm

Meredith

Meredith & Malcolm

Err....don't ask about these pictures..

ITS SNOWING

2005-01-22T19:59:36Z

Hey Everyone. It started snowing at 10AM. I have pictures from when it first started snowing, and I have pictures now. It is going to snow until tomorrow morning..yay

Other news hm... Meredith & Tim think that Kurt Cobain commited suicide, me & laura said he was murdered. All the info is at justiceforkurt.com or cobaincase.com
But like tim said, let us believe what we want, we will never know the truth.

Le Snow when it first started:

Le Snow Now:

Okay....

2005-01-22T18:15:14Z

For those of you, who are to lazy to read my old journal - brunette_m0ment , to see what has happened in my life I guess I will fill you in...

January 2004 - March 2004

Okay, back in August 2003, my dad got walking namonia (i know I spelled that wrong, shut the fuck up) He got very weak, and he would fall asleep all the time, sometimes he would fall, because he couldn't walk right, and I was the one who took care of him, I could hear him cry at night at 3AM because he was in so much pain. Going to the hospital almost every other week, so he could get the fluid surronding his heart tapped( he looked 9 Monthis Pregnant) it go so stressfull...so much stress caused me to cut. My dad passed away March 10, 2004, in the hospital, he went in there to try getting a little bit better, passed away 12:15 AM, heart failure

March 2004 - May 2004

My mom and me lived happily, I stopped cutting and my grades picked up a bit, and then in May, my mom desides to get a boyfriend, Bob, a family friend of 3 years, my mom is 40, bob was 20 when they start dating.

July 2004

I go to visit my Aunt Betsy in Las Vegas, for 11 days. Bob also moves in over the summer, they start sleeping together in my dads room.

August 2004

My birthday & I start highschool

Late September, Early October - December

I start becomming depressed again, I get put on 10MG of Paxil for depression which makes me aneroxic. I start cutting more, then I used to, I start carving things on my legs:

Fuck The World

Life + Pain

Binky

Right Before Christmas

I start seeing a psychologist, after I cut really deep, and go to the hospital because I told my guidance what is going on.

Early January 2005

I tell my psychologist, that I tried commiting suicide, or at least i was going to, but I stopped myself before I cut too deep, I also said I was thinking about taking pills. I go to the Hospital Emergency Room, then I am transported to Brooke Glen Behavioral Hospital, to the Childrens Unit, I stay there from, Jan 5 - Jan 10.

NOW

I sit here, in tears, earlyer my mom got into an argument with me, and I made a lil cut on my leg, 1st cut since I got out of the hospital.

Pictures

These are some of the only pictures I have of my dad, kind of crappy because I took pictures of the pictures with my digital camera.

My only wish, is that all of you could have gotten to know my dad. He was full of great ideas, and wonderful stories, I will never forget. I would give up anything in the world, just to sit and talk, hug, and just look at him, for five minutes. If I could have one wish, I would wish to bring him back, healthy. I know I have been tramatized for life, especially when my mom said some really rude things:

YOUR FATHER IS DEAD! LEARN TO DEAL WITH IT! THIS IS MY ROOM NOW!!

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM BEFORE I FLUSH YOUR FATHERS ASHES DOWN THE TOILETTE!!!

I hate my mother, and I always will, but no matter what, no one can take away my love for my dad.

R.I.P
Danny R. Yatsko
June 28 1952 - March 10 2004
"See Told Ya I Was Sick"

All My Problems...

2005-01-21T01:34:28Z

I guess it is time for me to start stating all my problems I am currently having, maybe it will help if I vent and have people leave me comments on it.

I want to become Wiccan. Wiccan is a religion. I want to buy all these witchcraft books right now, and insents and candles and such, if my mom finds out my mom will kill me. Unless Meredith's mom teaches me and helps me buy stuff, but since I have no clue when that will be...UGH! I also can't find any information on Wicca, so I'm screwed there too...

I want to buy all these new clothes for next year, like start over, all these clothes from HotTopic.com, my mom does not respect my individuality, so I am fucked over there, plus it will cost me like $300 +

I need money, really REALLY bad right now, and unless I keep my act together and clean the house really well, I can't get money. My mom wont let me get a job right now, so im screwed on getting money! I really really need money..god!

I also want a boyfriend, everyone is getting hooked up, except me. I really like Malcolm, but I know that him and me will never be an "item" And Shiloh thinks I should go out with her ex, Mike, and so does everyone else, just because my friends think I need a boyfriend. I really do not know Mike, to say if I like him or not. I guess I just feel left out!

/Vent

Home Sick...

2005-01-20T20:14:16Z

I stayed home from school today, I am still sick. I can eat now but I got the sniffles really bad. It is freezing outside, too much snow for my liking. I need to clean the house after I eat, so I can get $10, for the movies. I also need to feed the dogs. Hopefully tomorrow night we are going to see Darkness, maybe I'll sleep over Meredith's house if I go to the movies.

I have two change banks now, one is for Money for Clothging and Books and the other is for my personal spending money, to spend on movies, and little bits of clothing. I am not going to spend my money in the clothing & books bin until I have about $100 and even then, I will probally buy books before the clothes.

Some of the books I want to buy will be Wicca books, since I want to be Wiccan, I need to start buying books, insents, candles, ect. But I need to buy a lock, so I can lock up all my stuff in my chest.

For clothing I want to buy dark clothes, gothic like stuff, from hot topic.com and I might buy some clothes at the mall, but I dont want to buy clothing until late this summer, so I have all my new clothes for the start of next year

Sick

2005-01-19T21:11:08Z

I am so sick right now, I think its the flu. I ate fish, and two hours later I was visiting the porcelan goddess. I hope I can stay home tomorrow, even if I am better, fake puking noises...because tomorrow is uniform day, and it is way to cold to wear that, plus it snowed. I love snow, I hate being sick.

My Quizzes

2005-01-19T19:18:55Z

You,re a very depressed, lonely person. Something
happened to you that changed your point of view
on life or maybe you always been this way. You
don't have any friends because you dont see the
point in making them they will just leave
anyway so why bother or maybe you just dont
want them. But try and stay positive there are
people who love you, so dont push them away
they just want to help. You might be scared to
make friends because you think they might hurt
you, but they won't, good friends always stay
together so try and make some. Also Please
Send Pics!!!

Whats Your Personality(with PICS)
brought to you by Quizilla

Your inner soul is calling for help! You always
seem so depressed, lonely, and feel like an
outsider. You may have a cold, sad exterior,
but in all reality you are hurt inside and
bottling up all of your anger. Everyday you
wonder why are you still here when there is
nothing left? You use to once be a happy,
loving soul, but it was damaged by 'them' and
seems like it never can be fixed again.
However, you have yet seemed to realize that
there are people out there that deeply care for
you. They secretly have a thing for you because
they find you to be dark, mysterious, and full
of secrets, not to mention being the prettiest
person in the world! You like to enjoy your
time by yourself expressing your feelings
through forms of art, and enjoy nice quiet
scenaries that just dazzle your mind with awe.
Your bedroom is basically your sanctuary where
you can hide out, hidden from those who gave
you all of the pain. Try to loosen up and have
some fun! Never start frowning because you
never know who's falling in love with your
smile :)

What Is Your Inner Soul Trying To Say? (With Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

you represent the hard times in life. you have a
hard life yourself and a hidden self many don't
know about.

What part of life do you represent? ( AWESOME anime pics ^_^)
brought to you by Quizilla

Nihilist Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You have a surprise kiss! Your partner is always
pleasantly pleased to have you jump outta no
where to dote them with a fun peck on the cheek
or more passionate embrace. super markets and
work places are your favorite places to attack
your loved one with all your love =p

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

You're the high class girl. You're elegant,
sophisticated, and enjoy the luxuries of life.
You are confident, fair, and diplomatic. You
could be royalty for all I know. People like
you a lot, but be sure they don't like you for
your money or anything. That's bad. Pick out
your real friends from the crowd.

What kind of girl are you? (with pix!)
brought to you by Quizilla

You are a dark girl. You have a really quiet and
really a i dont' care attitude. You like to be
alone and that is what you enjoy. You don't
like to be around others and you'd rather be
away from here. You have a get away from me
look and others find you bitchy and
self-rigious. You'd rather read than be at a
fair but that's ok because that's who you are.

Who are you inside????? (LOTS OF RESULTS)girls only
brought to you by Quizilla

cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

New Year, New Journal.

2005-01-19T03:21:33Z

Since this is a new year, I have decided to start a new journal. All my old journal entrees from January 17 2005 back all the way to May 25th, 2004 all those entrees can be found at brunette_m0ment